Last night I sat in the dark with nothing to illuminate the room other than the glow of the tree. Sparkles from the ornaments and shimmering ribbon reflected the light. A warm drink rested in my hands as I sat in a Christmas moment. Earlier in the day, tears came to my eyes as I danced with my new son to Josh Grobin’s “Believe.” This holiday means nothing to him. His eyes don’t see the decorations that are around him. Even though next year will really be his first Christmas, this miraculous child brings home the meaning of this holiday to me. Just two years ago I scrooged the season. Christmas felt like the happy person you see when you are luxuriating in a bad mood; annoying. It is amazing how our experience of the holiday varies from year to year depending on life’s circumstances. The underlying symbolism of Christmas either inspires us to embrace or reject it. For me Christmas is a time of hope in what is to come. Two years ago, without being anchored in my faith in hope, the holiday only shone light on what life was missing. I had lost track of my belief that the child who was born in a manger lived his life so that I can have faith that with every death there is a resurrection. In the stillness of last evening I was overcome with gratitude for everything that has evolved for me in the last two years. I spiritually sat marinating in the experience of Christmas’ significance, in hopes that it will be absorbed so deeply into my soul that I can call upon it in difficult years when the light of hope may seem dim. In a time when we may feel insecure in our finances, jobs and relationships, it is even more imperative that we ground ourselves in the true meaning of Christmas.
I believe that in order to focus on a deeper meaning to Christmas, we must be fully conscious of the pressure we feel to get lost in the commercialism of the holiday. Stores begin shelving holiday ware in October. Town and mall decorations are hung before Thanksgiving so that as soon as the turkey is off the carcass, the light switch for the holiday can be eventfully thrown. The money stores make during Christmas make or break their annual bottom line. The marketing necessary to ensure that they remain in the darkest shade of financial black is nothing short of a bombardment. As per Yahoo.com, the average American spent close to $1000 on Christmas in 2003. That is $2000 for each household headed by two. These numbers reflect that we have fallen prey to Wall Street’s mission to convert us from a holy Christmas to a capitalistic one. Considering that the first recorded celebration in history was in the year 336, and the trend away from homemade gifts started in 1880, the meaning of Christmas has eroded as quickly as the ice caps in the North Pole. In many homes, families tear through the thousand dollar pile of presents in a literal matter of minutes. By late afternoon, much is absent mindedly dropped around the house, only to be added later to over flowing toy bins and closets. Many children in our country have so much that the over inundation leaves very little room for appreciation. We adult children can get so lost in our appetite for techno toys that companies can barely keep up the demand for new innovation. On Christmas day many sit among strewn wrapping paper getting lost in flat screens, high definition video games and listening to downloaded music through ear phones. I am not a complete cynic of holiday commercialism. I enjoy opening a beautifully wrapped Christmas present as much as the next person. However, considering the number of articles written each year drawing out strategies for and battle plans against holiday stress, most of us are too lost in materialism to really reflect on the real meaning of Christmas. Once conscious of how much energy we invest commercially, we can figure out what it will take to rebalance our spiritual books so that we can reinvigorate Christmas with greater depth.
Meaning cannot be infused into Christmas until it is defined. While I made a brief statement as to what Christmas means to me, the holiday may have completely different significance to you. We all must take time to find our own meaning in the story of Christ’s birth. Even though many of us attend church on Christmas year after year, we may not have taken the sermons shared and integrated their messages into a personal, spiritual belief statement. We must think about whether what we have heard has swept over us or through us. If we cannot articulate the meaning of Christmas in our lives today, then it has been the former. Even if we don’t go to church, there are many sources of deeper holiday messages. Christmas music, movies such as It’s a Wonderful Life, and even television shows like A Charlie Brown Christmas give pause to think a little deeper. While “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer” and “Santa Baby” are fun songs to brighten our moods, the meaning of the holiday must be found by being present in the quieter tones of the season. We sing “Hark! The Harold Angels Sing” and “Joy to the World” every year, but when was the last time we really thought about the words of these carols. Whether we want to delve deeply into the symbolism of the story of Christ’s birth, or take a closer look at all the means through which Christmas is celebrated, a more personal significance can be found by all.
As with a mission statement, once our meaning has been defined, we can use it to guide how we celebrate the season. It can help us define our priorities, create new traditions or bring new awareness to the traditions we already value. For me the feeling of hope comes through visions of light in the darkness. Besides enjoying the tree, I love to take walks at night to look at homes that are lit. An advent wreath gives pause to light a candle in anticipation of what is to come. “Silent Night” is extremely meaningful to me. Others may feel that the true meaning of Christmas is in the value of togetherness and family. If this is the case, we might figure out how our holiday preparations might undermine the amount of time we spend with those that are most important. This week I heard of a couple who go on the “Twelve Dates of Christmas” each year. They may go out to eat, go ice skating or stay home to bake cookies. This can easily be altered into “The Twelve Family Activities of Christmas.” If we value the connection we feel to others, taking a minute extra to write a personal note in our Christmas cards instead of just signing our name lends to this. If the meaning of Christmas lies in the theme of miracles, we can either look more closely to those that take place in our own lives, or create a miracle for someone else through service. While working at homeless shelters can be extremely valuable, most are over booked with volunteers this time of year. Strive to be creative and present in your outreach. Think of each activity you take part of during the season and determine whether it helps you to embrace Christmas or unconsciously get lost in it. A few years back I decided not to exchange presents with relatives outside my immediate family. That cut way back on my time shopping, wrapping and shipping. Having the excuse to touch base and get caught up through Christmas cards was more important to me. Now I have more time to enjoy my tree and evening walks.
If we look at our children and feel that the presents have become a bit too paramount and that those received are not appreciated to the degree that they should, we may need to go a little Grinch. We can instill a deeper meaning to Christmas by having one without any presents at all. When presenting this idea, you might receive a lot of disappointment and resistance. The more you receive, the greater the need to experientially teach your children this lesson. After validating their feelings, you can push each family member to talk about what is most important to them about Christmas. Then as a family you can create a holiday season that ties together all that is valued. Instead of packages, surprise your family with handwritten notes of love and appreciation on Christmas. The more specific and in depth, the more you will take their breath away. This may serve as a model for a larger note exchange in future years. After Christmas is over, you can then discuss how presents might be added the following year but at a level that preserves the spirit of the season.
Our goal is to create a holiday season that is consistently comforting and inspiring no matter what our life’s circumstances are that year. If the focus of Christmas is on gifts, then the season is fraught with disappointment and stress during years that are financially lean. If we feel the only meaning of Christmas is about snuggling on the couch with a significant other, then we will be lost in loneliness on the years when we don’t have one. Christ was not born during a time of abundance, stability or happiness. People were waiting in anticipation for the Messiah to be born as a savior. Christmas should actually hold more meaning during the years when we have less. As Mary and Joseph were guided by the Star of Bethlehem, we can be guided by the Christmas theme we hold most dear. As I sat gazing at my tree last night, I realized that I don’t have a star at the top. I’m not sure why I have never bought one. Maybe I was meant to buy one specifically during this year of miracles, so that it will hold the reminder and significance needed in years that I will need it most. Even in the darkest of night, there is always a pin point of light that lets us know that there can be hope, gratitude and a faith the miracle of our resurrection to come.